Review Information
Game Reviewed Super Mario Bros. Super Quest, by Mario350
Review Author rchammer97
Created Aug 1 2015, 1:29 PM

General Commentary and Game Overview
Go back and do it over. You failed.
 
Pros +It's a game.
+You can play as Toad.
+It can be beaten... if you're dumb/bored/insane/self-loathing enough to keep playing.
 
Cons -The title screen cares about as much as the character select.
-The controls mock you and your family.
-UP to jump. UP is /NEVER/ to jump.
-One-Health-Point-Wonder.
-No checkpoints.
-Please. Mario/Toad. SHUT. THE HELL UP.
-The music is passable, but overshadowed by the above.
 
Impressions
Gameplay
1 / 10
If you don't know how to make Mario turn in place, you should stop making your game.
Don't ask me to explain the control. Trust me, I would if I could.
What I CAN say is that jumping is a crappy guess. You build up a running start, you press Up (REALLY?? UP??), and sometimes you jump high, sometimes you hop an inch off the ground, and sometimes you just flat don't jump at all, and you keep going, and you stick up against the side of the pit until you let go and fall to your doom.
You die in one hit (with no checkpoints, of course), collecting Coins does diddly dick, and if you wait too long at the start of the second level, a Goomba comes into the secret passage that you start in, gets stuck, and consequently kills you instantly the second you choose your character.
 
Graphics
1 / 10
Stretched-out, rapidfire animated sprites from SMW, SMB3, SMB2, and whatever the hell that Koopa came from. And a crappy 5-Minute-Paint-Rush Dud Block. So badly edited that the only moving enemy ends up getting stuck in the floor, vibrating in place like someone's forgotten cell phone.
 
Sound
1 / 10
Never get tired of that SMBSS theme. (R.I.P. Our real Super Mario) However, the game itself has only very, very quiet SMB3 MP3s and MIDIs. Soothing little melodies, pleasing to the ear... until you get a coin, kill an enemy, jump or do PRACTICALLY ANYTHING ELSE.
"WOOHOO! WOOHOO! WOOHO-WOO-HEHE! I GOT I-HEHE! I- HEHE- I- HEHE! I GOT IT! O-O-O-OKE-O-OK-O-O-OKEYDOKEY! WOAAAHOAOA!"
"YAHOO YAHOO YEAH! HAHAHAHA YEAH! HAHAHAHA! YEAH! HAHAHA-YEAH! HAHAH-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
...You realize there is a veritable sound resource store here you could have easily made use of?
 
Replay
1 / 10
...Why?
 
Final Words
1 / 10
I lied. There was no way I could have conceived the sheer magnitude of suck this game exudes from the screenshot alone. It must be experienced.

Comments
No comments have been left.
Pages: | Last Unread