MFGG - Mario Fan Games Galaxy

Review Information

Game Reviewed	Mario Minigame Mayhem, by Mario350
Review Author	DJ Coco
Created	Mar 25 2013, 8:50 PM

General Commentary and Game Overview

Holy balls. Okay, let me first get in a comfortable position to write this review. This is gonna be a long review. This game deserves an award. It really does. This is the worst game I've ever played on MFGG, and... I just don't know what to say about this game. I've played some really bad games already, many which I rewarded with a blasting 1/10 review, but this supersedes them all.

Mario Minigame Mayhem

Let me tell you about the atrocity of this title. Everything about this game makes you question the existence of quality control. Now, most games get accepted if they don't have any gamebreaking bugs and if they run, okay. But come on, how can you seriously accept something like this? You also do decline sprite sheets when they're bad, even if they aren't JPEG. And this is worse than 99.5% of all declined sprite sheets.

This is just random stuff put into Game Maker, without any knowledge. Graphics made in 2 minutes in MS Paint. Bad midis from... I don't know, most likely VG Music. It is a pure masterpiece. Let me quickly code... no... no, that's wrong. Let me quickly drag and drop some stuff in Game Maker and submit it. Jesus. No.

Pros

+ It is honorable that it managed to pass quality control, somehow.

Cons

- Bad title screen
- Horrendous minigames
- Generic platforming
- Shooting only in one direction
- Simple drag and drop action
- One highscore table for everything
- Absolutely atrocious graphics
- Clashing graphics
- Overused graphics
- MS Paint graphics
- Solid color backgrounds that burn my eyes
- Goombas take more time to arrive than the trains in my country
- You can't even win the flying minigame without getting hit
- Two minigames just involve button spamming
- Even though you don't even have to spam it
- Way too easy
- What the hell do I do at that McDonald's minigame?
- Use of Game Maker Standard Functions like show_message
- F1 not disabled and nothing is in the helpfile
- F5 and F6 not disabled for saving / loading games
- Everything
- No minigame select
- No point in playing the Goomba minigame at all
- No hope
- No sense
- No nothing

Impressions

Gameplay 1 / 10	I haven't even started to talk about the gameplay and my hands are already tired of typing. So, where do we begin? Let's start where the game starts: The title screen: An oversized pixel font saying Mario Minigame Mayhem. Hey, at least the title still is the same as the title on MFGG! Some trash titles even have different names ingame. Some props for that. So, you hit Enter to start your game. It isn't said anywhere, but not too hard to figure out. Mario stands there with a gun. You can shoot by hitting CTRL. It's mentioned in the external Readme, so that's alright, I guess. And CTRL is a pretty common button as well. You can only shoot right. That's... okay. Actually, it's not okay. Why can I only shoot right? Even when Mario faces left? Jesus, is it so hard to make Mario shoot left? Even if you're a beginner at Game Maker, even if you never touched that thing before, if you can make him shoot right. WHY IN THE WORLD CAN'T YOU MAKE HIM SHOOT LEFT?! Goombas therefore only invade from the right, making turning around entirely useless. So you just have to hit CTRL to spam them away, but they already take a minute just to enter the screen, so you will think the game is broken. You can also jump, but since all you have to do is CTRL, the entire concept of the game is shot in the ass! Either way, this game is bland and uninteresting. To advance to the next one you have to get hit by a Goomba. No score is required so there's really no point in playing the game. Next, there's that Shy Guy flying minigame. You dodge Shy Guys and collect coins. The level is pre-designed, so there is no randomness, even though it would be really easy to code. The level design isn't very good either and feels randomized, so a random level would have been quite nice. So anyway, you dodge shy guys and collect coins to increase your score, even though I'm not quite sure whether the coins really help at all. When you have enough score, you can get hit and can advance to the next minigame. You get hit at the end anyway, the game is scripted like that. Lol, scripted. Nothing is scripted in this game, but you get the point. Oh, I forgot to mention - when you leave the room you die. So at least you can't break the game like that. Next up is Luigi's McDonald's Adventure. I have no idea what to do here. I figured when I click certain fries the game accepts it. Everything else I tried to click tells me I'm fired. If I don't do anything, I'm hired, so you can play the last game at least. Also I have no idea what that brown thing with the yellow thing attached to it is supposed to be. Also, why is Luigi hired when he does it right and fired when he doesn't? Can't you only be fired when you're hired already? But I digress. The last game is pretty much the same as the first, but slightly better. Mario is now a pizzaman and serves pizza while shooting pizza at Goombas trying to steal your pizza or something. So yeah, just hit CTRL again and move right while touching all the doors to deliver pizza. Really, nothing too interesting. That brings us to the end of the game. It should be mentioned that all games share the same highscore table. So even if you would be interested in playing the games, which you aren't, you can't even compare the scores because the games where you earn more score will eliminate the scores from the games where you obtain little to no score. So the highscore table is a useless feature. But then again, it's GM's standard highscore, so the creator of this game didn't waste too much effort on it.
Graphics 1 / 10	The graphics are a pure clusterf***. Everything from SMB3 8-bit to SMB2 16-bit is to be seen here, along with solid color cyan backgrounds that cause eyecancer and custom drawn MS Paint graphics. You'd rather just have the game use placeholder graphics than this. The animations are unsmooth as well and barely work. Some sprites are not even identifiable, for example that previously mentioned McDonald's thing. Many sprites also got smoothened with Game Maker's image editor, which just makes it even worse. I really hesistate to dedicate a whole point to the graphics, but the site staff decided to forbid hacking the score tables, so I guess I have to.
Sound 1 / 10	MIDIs you probably heard already 10 000 times in your life, along with some SFX, but most of the time no sound is to be heard. Probably for the better, because I already had enough of that explosion sound effect that was way too loud and so out of place. While being the best aspect the game has to offer, they were still terrible and nothing short of another 1/10.
Replay 1 / 10	Ummm, no. I actually thought some time about the replay value. You know why? VinnyVideo has saved this game on his HDD, and I might do so too. Let me make a quick comparison to some Sonic titles. You know this game is not that kind of Sonic Heroes-type of bad. Sonic Heroes was a bad game, but it worked. It was just very boring. It is the Sonic '06-kind of bad. A game that doesn't work, but is fun to play nonetheless, just because it's so bad. But then again, it's just too bland and uninteresting to have any kind of replay value. It doesn't even have funny glitches to look at. If one game deserved replay value for atrocity, it's SMB: Super Quest, but I haven't even given that game more than a 1/10. So it boils down to another 1/10.

Final Words

This shouldn't get a 1/10. This game doesn't deserve a score.

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Comments

	LSF Games Mar 27 2013, 6:31 PM
It's a shame you can't give a 0/10. Well, that's life. And it's stupid, that you can't die in the last game! You can walk through Goombas and you're alive. There's no healthbar, but that would be too hard to program for him. :D


	DJ Coco Mar 27 2013, 6:44 PM
Quote (LSF Games on Mar 27 2013, 6:31 PM) It's a shame you can't give a 0/10. Well, that's life. And it's stupid, that you can't die in the last game! You can walk through Goombas and you're alive. There's no healthbar, but that would be too hard to program for him. :D Oh, you can't even die? Well, then you don't even have to do jackshit there either, apart from the immense task of holding right. But in the end, it wouldn't have influenced the review score, because it would just decrease it further, but what I wanted to give this game is already below what I can give, anyway. :P


	Hypernova Mar 29 2013, 12:10 AM
Quote (LSF Games on Mar 27 2013, 11:31 AM) It's a shame you can't give a 0/10. Well, that's life. And it's stupid, that you can't die in the last game! You can walk through Goombas and you're alive. There's no healthbar, but that would be too hard to program for him. :D I did remember some staff on the main site gave a -1/10 on Goomba go Squish. http://www.mfgg.net/index.php?act=resdb¶m=02&c=3&id=6254&gid=6018


	LSF Games Mar 29 2013, 2:05 PM
LOL. I never knew that. Funny! How did he do that?


	DJ Coco Mar 29 2013, 2:09 PM
LOL, I know the scores 0/10, -1/10, 11/10 and 13/10 do exist, but I didn't know they were put to use already. Epic.


	Ryan Silberman Apr 2 2013, 12:26 AM
Aw..only a 1/10


	DJ Coco Apr 2 2013, 10:55 PM
Quote (Jack-of-All Games on Apr 2 2013, 12:26 AM) Aw..only a 1/10 Yep, it was only for April Fools. I wish it stayed


	MoonMan Jul 11 2013, 8:16 PM
Quote (DJane Coco on Mar 29 2013, 10:09 AM) LOL, I know the scores 0/10, -1/10, 11/10 and 13/10 do exist, but I didn't know they were put to use already. Epic. Late reply (and you may have discovered it already), but there's also a 42/10.

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