Review Information
Game Reviewed Super Mario Bros. Remasted!., by 8-bit Gamer
Review Author TheTwelfthRocket
Created Feb 27 2016, 8:10 PM

General Commentary and Game Overview
Super Mario Bros. Remasted!

There's a typo in the name.

This is a sign that this game will blow...

a lot...

ummm...
 
Pros Uhm...

uh...

err...

gugh...

ummmmmmm...

agh...

+It's not a remake even if the name implies that?
 
Cons -Bad graphics
-2-2 seems half finished
-HELLO'S SMB1 ENGINE!!!!!!!
-First level is just 1-1 from SMB1
-Terrible block collision
-Basically a Hello SMB1 engine clone
-Loading doesn't even work
-Prideful message upon trying to quit the game
-The menu is in a different resolution than the normal gameplay
-The level design beyond SMB1's 1-1 is terrible

Well, that's a lot of cons, eh?
 
Impressions
Gameplay
1 / 10
OH YAY, this game is made with Hello's SMB1 engine. The Hello SMB1 engine just blows. Mario is so very slippery, and his speed can be summed up with <Inserts Sonic X's American theme>.

Upon starting the game, you aren't greeted with a title screen, but instead a menu where Mario can move around in it.

There are 4 options.

New Game will let you...start a new game. Nothing really special.

Load Game will let you load your previous game, but from what I experienced, the game just crashes upon loading your file.

Info is supposed to let you know what the game is about, but from what I saw...the game's info had NOTHING. IT WAS EMPTY. Nice job, 8-bit Gamer.

And last but not least, Quit Game. Now the action is very basic, you hit the block and...

"You want to quit this awesome game?"

WHAT? AWESOME GAME? WHAT AWESOME GAME? THIS ONE? OK, it seems as if 8-bit Gamer thought THIS was the best thing in the world, so he added a prideful message upon trying to quit the game.

It's like saying Big Red Button released Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric (Which from what I heard, it was crap) and then they said "BUY TIS AWSOM GAM!!!1!!one!!11".

When you're making a game, even if it IS awesome, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT call your own game awesome. It will just make you look prideful. It's up to the people that play the game if it's awesome or it blows.

So another thing added to the engine is terrible block collisions! :D Mario doesn't even have to jump in the dead center to open a ? block or break a brick block. Nope, he has to be on the very left of that block to break it! OK, what the heck 8-bit Gamer. How were you able to take the block collision from Hello's SMB1 engine, read through all that jumbled messy code, and make it worse?! At least Hello's SMB1 block collision's WORK. This game, however, butchers it. What. The. Heck.

So actually getting back on topic, you start the game and...you're in SMB1's 1-1. Well, nothing interesting here.

Next level is not even 1-2 from SMB1, instead, it's a terrible underground course! Seriously, it looks like a 4 year old tried to make a level.

1-3 is a autoscrolling athletic level. OK, it's starting to look less engine-cloney, but that was really the only feature I found which actually wasn't already with the engine.

1-4 is a not-very-special castle level. You were expecting 8-bit Gamer to at least add Bowser to the engine, right? WRONG. There is literally no Bowser to fight, so you just meet Toad who says "thank you mario but our princess is in another castle" yada yada yada.

And at that...I reached the end of the demo. I was relieved.

Then I was kicked in the gut, as the demo was not over! *sigh*

So it's a pyramid level. However, I then reached a dead end, so...I supposed it was unfinished. I guess I was done at that point.

So technically, the game's name lied. This isn't even a remake of SMB1. Well, I guess that's good, but the original levels are terribly designed, though. But then again, it IS called "Super Mario Bros. Remasted!" and after a bit of researching, I found that "remasted" means to furnish with a new mast or set of masts, which leaded me to multiple definitions of mast...

"1. A tall, slim post or tower, usually tapering upward, used to support, for example, the sails on a ship, flags, floodlights, or communications equipment such as an aerial, usually supported by guy-wires.

2. (naval) A non-judicial punishment ("NJP") disciplinary hearing under which a commanding officer studies and disposes of cases involving those under his command

3. To supply and fit a mast to a ship

4. The fruit of forest-trees (beech, oak, chestnut, pecan, etc.), especially if having fallen from the tree, used as fodder for pigs and other animals.
(of swine and other animals) To feed on forest seed or fruit.
(agriculture, forestry, ecology, of a population of plants) To vary fruit and seed production in multi-year cycles." -Wikitionary

I'm most likely overthinking this, the typo in the name probably wasn't intentional...but...when 8-bit Gamer typed the typo, he didn't fix it...so what if it WAS intentional?

Eh, I think I'm going a bit overboard now. I've talked enough.

Bad.
 
Graphics
2 / 10
Ugh, these graphics...

So most of these graphics are just recolors of original 8-bit sprites.

Except that they actually break the 3-color rule.

Now as for color choice...wow.

Now personally, I think the color's used here are a bit dark. I like colorful games like the original SMB1. BUT. I don't like games that are TOO colorful and bright (I'm looking at you, SMB3!).

The underground palletes are...horrible. The color's placement looks unnatural, and those coins don't even look like coins. The Goomba and Koopa colors are ugly and very dark, color choice wise.

Background wise, it's even less than the original SMB1, which is a huge letdown.

The backgrounds are solid colors just like SMB1. However, scenery like clouds and bushes aren't even here. Wha...? I mean, Hello didn't add clouds in the original engine, but he did add bushes, why didn't you use the bushes, 8-bit Gamer?

Honestly, I really didn't like the graphics. I can commend you for trying to recolor the original SMB1 sprites to stay SOMEWHAT original, but the way it came out is bad.
 
Sound
1 / 10
Music wise, it's the same overused MIDI's everyone has been using over the years. Honestly, I think the MIDI's clash with the graphics, 8-bit Gamer could've use the original versions of the song. This game was made in 2008. A game I used to play, which is called MYSMB1, had the original versions of the songs used in the original SMB1 games, and THAT was ALSO made in 2008, so I wouldn't see why 8-bit Gamer DIDN'T use them, unless if it's because he wanted to make the file size smaller.

As for sounds, don't expect anything special. The only sound I found interesting was the...spring sound, it was actually the "vine coming out of block" sound. Honestly, that's kind of a really bad sound choice.

Bad.
 
Replay
1 / 10
Uhm...why?

Why would you?

This game is not awesome, despite what that message box said.

It's bad.

Really bad.

I really don't see why you'd play this a second time.

I really don't see why you'd play this in the first place.
 
Final Words
1 / 10
Super Mario Bros. Remastered?

More like Super Mario Bros. DEmastered.

Luckily, since the game tricks you into thinking this is a remake when it isn't, you'd be more than welcome to STAY THE HECK AWAY FROM THIS GAME.

Comments
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TheTwelfthRocket
Feb 24 2017, 4:28 AM
Man, I remember when I was so active on this site. Not very active on this site anymore though. Kinda missing it right now.

Might write up a review or something tomorrow, but I have a hard time keeping my promises. Especially when I'm busy with other things.
 
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